Round and round you go on the merry go round wondering if it’s time to get off
Oh!
But wait, the parents are still around to pick you from falling down in
your rush to take the ride the second time around
5:30
PM, Wednesday, 1st July 2017
“Ramen Zubair Zaheer! Open the
door right now! Who are you talking to? Son-in-law? *Holds chest and screams* I
think I am getting an attack from the shock! Open the door or I’ll call your
father to break the door!”
Ramen screamed from the room, “Do
what you want. After breaking my trust the door is the least you can break! I
won’t until my husband agrees to meet you!”
V was laughing uncontrollably
at this hilarious exchange between a spoiled Bombay brat and a hysterically
shocked mother.
“Baby what do we do? Are you
ready to meet the parents?”
“I am ready when you are
darling.”
*Frantically begs the daughter
to open the door* “Ramen dikra, open the door. I don’t know your boyfriend but
we will accept him. But he is only your boyfriend, right? And you didn’t do
anything with him, right? Promise me you didn’t touch him! Zubair!! Come here!”
Zubair Zaheer, age 68, heard
his wife screaming in pain and terror and wondered what happened now with
Ramen! He didn’t think he would survive anything more. He rushed towards Ramen’s
bedroom.
“Why are you screaming Pankti?
We’ve had enough for the day!”
*Terrorized by the time her
husband stood next to her outside Ramen’s bedroom* “Zubair, Ramen, Ramen is
saying she is married! Our Ramen got married and her husband is inside with
her! Do something! Break the door down!”
Zubair definitely didn’t see
this coming so in shock he said, “Ramen? Open the door beta, what’s this new
thing you’ve come up with to terrorize your parents?”
*Filing her nails sitting on
the bed next to V* Ramen said to V, “Should we open the door V or you’re
planning to teleport me to Milan once again and dobby is free finally?”
V was rolling on the floor
laughing but he went to answer the door patiently and greeted her terrified
parents with, “Hello uncle and aunty. I am Vishal Agnihotri and I love your
daughter.”
Zubair was so shocked but in
that state he took in the vibe of the young man and he liked him instantly and
that’s when putting her hand on her chest again Pankti said out loud to her
husband, “Zubair, mane Ramen kayche aa chokro toh kai witch che!”
V burst out laughing again and
gently led his mother-in-law by her arm into the room and seated her on the
study table’s chair while Zubair paid every ounce of attention the shock of
finding a boy in his daughter’s room allowed him. The father now looking every
bit of his 68 stood in the middle of the room and asked V, “So beta what do
your parents do? What do you do?”
Pankti, “Zubair! Witch nu poocho
pele!”
V made a chilled glass of water
appear magically and Pankti died in shock!
Ramen finally got off her bed
and announced, “Mom, dad, meet your son-in-law, Vishal Agnihotri. He is a half
witch and half man. He is an architect and has a studio in Worli somewhere. We
got married in my room last month in front of tigers, lions and penguins.”
This time both Pankti and
Zubair just stared at their troublesome daughter like she was an alien and were
really scared to form words when V swooshed around the room and got out a plate
of fish fritters to calm his parents-in-law.
Zubair was the first to get his
wits together. But Pankti started chanting prayers in full swing almost scared
to death of this creature in her house!
Zubair Zaheer, “So beta, you’re
a witch? How does that work? You mean you live a normal life or you present
fish fritters by magic for a living?”
“Umm, uncle first of all I am
terribly sorry for the shocks of the day both on behalf of my wife and I. Secondly,
yes I am a witch half human but let me tell you honestly that I am a good witch
and defer from using my powers unless to bring justice to injustice for the
helpless in this world. That’s when duty calls and I do the witch work and come
back to human life, in bed, eating popcorn mostly with my useless cousin John.
The next day, I eat cereal and get back to work like a slave common in the
human world. I don’t produce money as a principle, even though I can and my
family has a lot that we can’t even count but I literally live on a 50 lakhs
per annum pay check from the firm I have been working with since the last seven
years after graduation.”
Zubair finally heaved a sigh of
relief and calmed his chanting wife down. He said, “Pankti saaro che, saat
waras si ekaj jagah par kaam kareche. Aapni Ramen toh job badla kareche. Aa
saaro rehse ena maate. Pota nu ghar pan che. Ne magic aa chokro saara kaam
maate kareche toh approved?”
Pankti finally blinked and
called the boy to her. She examined him thoroughly and asked that one most
pertinent question on her mind to her now strange son-in-law because her
stubborn daughter wouldn’t respond to her, “Beta, all this is fine but nothing
has happened between you and my daughter, right?”
Now it was V’s turn to be
shocked. The first thought that flashed in his mind was, “The Zaheers’ are
crazy. The daughter takes blind cab rides around town and the only concern the
parents have is whether his wife and he got physical out of all the factors
about him being half a witch!”
He calmly sat on the arm rest
of the chair, next to his innocent and very cute mother-in-law and held her
hand gently and said, “Nothing you should be ashamed of mum. Ramen is Mrs. Vishal
Agnihotri and your daughter is now my responsibility.”
“But beta what is this marriage
in front of tigers, lions and penguins? Produce some in front of me, show me?
Our marriages have haldi, mehendi, sangeet, pheras and a full blown reception.
That’s what a marriage is. Come now call your parents and let us meet them. Ramen
maari chokri, shopping karvani che lehenga ni havey! Zubair, mane gamey che aa
chokro!”
V silently whispered to
himself, “Gujju che… Aye halo halo!”
He gathered his wits and said to
uncle and aunty, “By magic or phone call?”
Zubair Zaheer smiled happily
and said, “What will take less time?”
Pankti got up in full spirit
now and dashed through the kitchen to get some sweets and farsan for her
strange son-in-law but not without asking him, “Beta witches have regular
digestive systems, right?”
At that they all laughed and
waited to welcome V’s parents!
“
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