Thursday, 12 May 2022

Memoirs of a Gen Z wife: Episode 10 - The end of an endless Summer

Jahn be fearless:

For, even after I have gone,

I’ll be your guardian angel

Rehaan and you are my world

But for you, Neetu may come first

Hold onto me for another 7 lifetimes

As I married your soul when I shattered your ignorance a decade ago. 

PS: Always yours


After 7 months of healing from grief:

Jahnvi: “Why don’t you just fuck her?”

Prantik: “I would be lucky just to fuck my wife once in a while.”

Jahnvi danced a little dramatic moon dance in her head and heart. The last seven months were as beautiful as they could get for her family and her. Rehaan was acing classes at school and had become some sort of a basketball champion in campus at 7 years in the 3rd grade. He still demanded his disciplined breakfast and treats everyday and Jahnvi made peace with the fact that all four of them – Prantik, Rehaan, Neetu and she lived on nonsense food most times. Prantik was focused as ever on work and had begun his entrepreneurial journey in research partnership with his boss and friend for life, Raylon.

After a 10 year long tenure as a partner in Raylon’s firm, he was now training Prantik to take complete ownership of the business of Software production. Neetu continued her terrain of nagging and loving Rehaan rotten and enjoyed secret rendezvous with her boyfriend, John’s caretaker, once in a while when she forced Jahnvi to let her pickup Rehaan from school instead of the school bus. Now Jahnvi knew the reason and so she sent Neetu, 34 years, to school in their car every evening.

She still remembered the sundowner they had thrown in honor of Rehaan’s seventh birthday at ‘The Dome’, Intercontinental and the brat fooled her into buying him seven new pairs of Nikes on the occasion of his “Parents and peace together at home” party. She laughed when she remembered Rehaan barging into Prantik and her bedroom, stuffing himself in the middle and demanding, “So mom, dad, here’s the deal – You both owe me delayed happiness and so I have shortlisted the Summer wear from Nike. I want!”

Prantik and Jahnvi were so satisfied being friends again and sharing not an intimate yet, but a soulful married couple camaraderie that while they were discussing the menu for the bash, they just said, “Your wish is our command sire!” Then as he waded out of the room, Jahnvi called out sternly, “You better get your Math outta the way, dinner’s in an hour.”

A long summer of happiness, bliss, stability and a budding romance between Prantik and her along with her job healed Jahnvi completely. Today morning as Prantik tore into the room in a Monday morning hurry to shower, Jahnvi couldn’t take the last leg of her illness anymore.

Jahnvi: “Why don’t you fuck her Prantik?”

Prantik was caught off guard but had the dialysis of the situation at hand like as astrologer. He smiled to himself thinking, Jahn’s ready now! He answered honestly, “It would be great to just do my wife once in a while you know.”

He could see Jahn light up immediately but secretly and he waited with sweaty arms on his waist at the entrance of their contrasting mirror artwork bathroom in their bedroom.

Jahnvi: “Why did you play me at that one? You knew how sensitive I was about you.”

Prantik walked patiently to the bed stand, took the waiting fresh towel that Jahn still put for him every morning after his run, wiped himself and literally, in his smelly workout racer back and shorts, picked Jahn in his arms and placed her on his lap with love he couldn’t even imagine overpowered him for his possessive wife.

Prantik: “Jahn hear me out. Once and for all, internalize as you listen – A. I love you and Rehaan more than I love myself. B. All that you think was back stabbing healing was in fact a plan hatched with Dr.Tripti to heal you naturally. C. When Dr. called me personally to inform me about your illness, I figured it was because of ignorant pain you never faced growing up and even in my absence the first time around. I realized you had to face your sorrow in full awareness in the healing process. I kept testing your wits with each episodic bout to make you challenge your split and act as your true self. I was behind you all along. Watching and protecting you. Who you know as controlling is but a protective husband, madly in love with his wife and who wants the best for her. Wants to see her independent and flying with wings, God forbid, even in his absence for good. Each challenge was a trap for your split to come to terms with the fact that you are stronger than your defense. I knew that after we got married but I wanted you to realize that for yourself.

I wanted you to be free of your fears that made you defensive in the first place. You will call it a test of time for your man but as your man, it was a test for my babe to overcome each hurdle of fear and defense like a winner warrior. All these past so many years since your illness was out there, I took the plunge and let you live a normal life, making you deal with your defensive split as your true, authentic mature self. Each test, you fought through hell and abyss of darkness but know that even if once you’d have fallen, I would have picked you up and put you in the battlefield again.

I’m not controlling, I just, I wanted to heal you as really as possible. If I would have confronted you in the beginning, I bet you’d never heal until out of experiences of the test I put you through all these years. Talk about, “Learn on the job.” If you hadn’t experienced each emotion of sorrow, pain, grief, hatred, back stabbing, negativity, you would not have forgiven your mother and like yesterday, would not have taken grief as a whole for your cumulative grief yesterday.

I wasn’t controlling you, I was healing you Jahn."

Jahnvi was motionless yet comfortable in Prantik’s arms, she blinked hard and staring straight in his eyes, realizing her true power of normality in that minute, the fact that she could think logically like Prantik about his healing scheme, she threw back at him, “you don’t know the pain of facing fear Prantik. The first time you left me, I was shattered, broken and it was like all the pain and loss since adolescence came back and slapped me in the face called  - neglect. I faced the world without you the first time like a victim of desertation. I felt like no one loved me. Understand this, psychologically, you had become my anchor out of all the pent up family neglect grief for me. When you left me, I felt all alone and deserted by the world. You were my world. I didn’t care and lost myself in the chaos of depression which is when I began chain smoking for the seven minutes of relief. I felt abandoned by the one man I had married in my head for the longest time even before we tied the knot. That’s why my insecurity of losing you never died down after marriage and kept popping up in evading reality through randomness on Tinder. Something we never talked about in the earlier days.

I don’t think I had forgiven you even on our first night as a couple in bed. That’s when my split took birth. I started living two lives in the fear of what may happen if I lose you and soon my split became overpowering as a defense of insecurity when you got busy in making your career and creating a lifetime of comfort for us. Materialistic emotions stopped exciting me and all I ever drowned in was the pain of your busyness that took me back to you deserting me the first time. 

“Why did you leave me and fly away to Arizona?”

Prantik: “You call it controlling or foresightedness, when we started seeing each other after you broke your engagement, that night when your aunt called in the pretext of talking to your mum and you answered, I remembered you sad on the call with me after that. I picked up a tone in your voice that I found scary. Don’t misunderstand me; scary because I knew then you were different from your family. But your tone of prolonged sadness worried me and I started analyzing your behavior when I’d visit your family. You were always worried around them, always tensed and your parents always mostly patronized you. You’d always cling harder to me after one of those family gatherings and I realized you were neglected as a daughter. Perhaps, this was because you never fit in with them as a creative personality.

I started loving you harder after that but something told me that if like this we got married, I would be your savior not your lover. I wanted to be both but at the time I was only your anchor. So I left to test how you behave in the toxic environment without me coming to your rescue. Believe you me Jahn, I was always there. Even in Arizona, I lived Indian standard time, always watching over you. Updates from Sim and your therapist is what I lived by. You were doing fine when you started writing for City Times as a city reporter; A drastic change from your lifestyle reportage and I knew you were going to be fine. I planned to comeback soon after that as your groom but that’s when I lost you when you got on Tinder.

Your therapist told me it was a typical case of moving on. I got scared and came running back. My test for you was half way complete. I forgot about it and thought I nipped it in the bud and we got married. I thought everything was fine and you could live without me as your anchor. But then when I got busy with work, your split decided to ruin you with the insecurity of losing me, slowly paralyzing you with fear in defense and unworthiness.

Dr Tripti and I hatched the whole plan to heal you from your vagabond wounds since birth then and so your test began again.

Jahnvi didn’t say anything for a minute out of shock of value of her man’s love for her. She was in fact, never abandoned! That donned on her like the sunrise of a day in heaven and she rested her head on his shoulders. Then she said, “In my life, I have been neglected since birth by my family. That is why when I met you online on Whatsapp the first time, I just knew it was you. With you I began living once again but when you left unannounced, I was back to square one. Marriage with you made me move forward in my battle of losses of grief so I never grieved completely. I still feared about what would happen to me in this wretched world without you. But all these years while I began healing and writing the ten tenets to normalize mental health, I faced each fear that stemmed from the fact of acting out of my wits, I stood the test of your good motive. I understand that now. When I moved out and started living alone, I realized, I would be fine even without you, incomplete but safe.”

Yesterday, I internalized each tenet again:

Realization

When you hinted I wasn’t okay

Acceptance

When I accepted my situation

Self defense

When my ego refused to move on and I used my wits 

Affirmations

When I created my own machinery

Anxiety

When I learned the normalcy of insecurity

Stress

When I learned to face reality over delusions

Negativity

When I started seeing the brighter side of life

Understanding

When I began thinking before speaking or acting

Greif

When I forgave others to forgive myself

I became whole again Prantik.”

Prantik held Jahn and they both fell softly on the bed. Jahn continued, “What did you mean by controlling Rehaan though?”

Prantik: “Look babe, that’s because he is a mama’s boy. You don’t care before swiping mine or yours to get whatever the hell the brat demands. I keep scores with him. Like earn your rewards Champ.”

They both laughed and slowly but finally, Prantik undressed Jahnvi after two years.

After a month – A beautiful day in August:

Rehaan: “Mom! Where’s my treat?! Dad, drop me off today and pick John on the way as well! I missed my bus!!”

Jahnvi and Prantik were romancing in their lounge when they were brought to the dawn of light by their brat.

They hurried and attended to his demands as usual. Once off to school and office respectively, Neetu skipped lunch and escaped the afternoon to meet Mitesh. Jahnvi was blooming after a hot shower and decided to launch on her laptop.

That day, dressed in a white silhouette her husband had gifted her a day before, she began writing the tenth tenet to normalize mental health.

Fear:

It paralyzes you. It gives you nightmares and you start living a parallel life of fear of life itself. You can’t function to your optimal level and it devoids  you of achieving your highest potential. It is but the biggest fence of any mental illness. Be fearless and there is no mental illness. Absolutely none.

How do you overcome fear?

Realize what you fear. Accept your fears. Understand why you fear what you fear. Affirm the fight against your fear. Leave your self defense of a negative mindset that stresses you out every second which then breathes anxiety. Know your possible solution to your mental illness is in the wellness of grieving your fear and moving on from it.Because, life doesn't pause honey.

That night the family had two large pizzas at the bay nearby while Rehaan joked about Ria failing Maths for the third straight time in a row. Prantik absent mindedly told Champ to help the little would- be daughter-in-law out and Jahnvi laughed hard. Neetu was out on a date for the third consecutive night. All was good for good.

Next week, early morning Sunday:

Prantik: “Jahn wake up, let’s get something to eat, Rehaan’s at Sim’s today. We gotta be somewhere. Hurry up!”

Jahnvi dressed on toe and they left home - Prantik in anticipation and excitement and Jahn in surprise.

They landed at NCPA and Jahnvi was suddenly in an auditorium full of avid readers, psychologists, professors, academicians and the youth. Shortly after that, Prantik took over the stage and began, “Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you, ‘The ten Tenets to normalize mental health,’ by none other than my wife, Jahnvi Prantik Saxena!”

Jahnvi thought she would faint as she heard a loud cheering from the crowd and rounds of applause that wouldn’t stop. He continued, “Mind I say, this is purely experiential content on field and a classic product of WFH!” The crowd lost it and Jahnvi took the stage to address her audience. He simply said, “ I would like to thank my husband without whose love and protection this homeopathy writing would not have been possible and my therapist who is really my sister from another mother. My son who took full advantage of my situation and is now the proud owner of the most amount of Nikes at school. I request you all to treat an illness of fear and internalize the ten tenets with added therapy to cure any negativity!”

Prantik held Jahn’s hand and they walked happily into the sun and on a walk of a life time of togetherness. Then obviously Rehaan was on his dad completely so Prantik was at it once again, “Jahn want to play another game?”

Jahnvi kissed Prantik and they both walked hand clenched in hand, a promise to ruin each other with the power of love and Jahnvi whispered, “This time, I orchestrate it. I was wondering, Tinder isn’t all that ….afterall… you know…!”

A petal of laughter reached the trees beyond the heaven’s gate of God and there he bound them together for eternity in the halo of his own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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